ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
