It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
