i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's always time for handjobs
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
