A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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