Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
