Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
