My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
