Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
