HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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