why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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