Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
