thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
