New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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