If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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