We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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