Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
