shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
