So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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