He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
