I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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