All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
