Just fell off a train. Bad.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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