I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
