I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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