Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
