And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.