Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
