Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.