When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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