You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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