I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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