Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
