i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
