just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
