he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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