i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
