Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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