none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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