I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dignity is for republicans.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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