I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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