My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
