I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
