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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.

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• (718): View more from New York

  door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.

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