Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
