i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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