oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
