I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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