My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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