none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.