you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?