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ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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