It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.