yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY