Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.

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  (757): ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work. http://tfl.nu/i4i5
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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  (859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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  (816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?

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  (785): My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test? http://tfl.nu/em8d
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  (561): View more from Florida

  so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

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  (561): so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same http://tfl.nu/2qn4
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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  (616): On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey. http://tfl.nu/p3t0
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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  (775): I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me http://tfl.nu/i130
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  (406): View more from Montana

  you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday

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  (406): you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday http://tfl.nu/fxk1
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?

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  (910): This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/41ta
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  (714): View more from California

  I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA

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  (714): I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA http://tfl.nu/vx5m
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
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  (352): View more from Florida

  But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.

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  (352): But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus. http://tfl.nu/k1xi
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.

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  (309): Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks. http://tfl.nu/tka4
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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  (773): He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex. http://tfl.nu/oxcx
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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  (505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik
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