You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
only if we run a train.
done.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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