Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can Purell be used as lube?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
