I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
