Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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