In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
