i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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