hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my phone needs a breathalizer
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
