I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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