fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
