I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You were trust falling into bushes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
