You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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