I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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