Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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