I think i peed on brittanys purse
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
