He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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