Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
