He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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