He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
