is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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