eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
