we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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